We show that a simple model of noninteracting quasiparticles accurately describes resonant inelastic x-ray scattering (RIXS) experiments in the hole-doped cuprate superconductors. Band structure alone yields signatures previously attributed to collective magnetic modes, such as the dispersing peaks and nontrivial polarization dependence found in several experiments. We conclude that RIXS data can be explained without positing the existence of magnetic excitations that persist with increasing doping. In so doing we develop a formalism for RIXS in itinerant electron systems that accounts for the positively charged core hole exactly and discover a mechanism by which the core hole produces polarization dependence mimicking that of a magnetic system.
