The House of Panic

Abstract

In this work, the author examines — or at least tries his very hardest to examine — the modern condition through a series of events that will remain, for reasons of both discretion and narrative suspense, unspecified. Through a careful balance of storytelling, armchair psychology, elementary mathematics, sociological speculation, and the application of particle physics on the blockchain, the project attempts to locate meaning in places it almost certainly isn’t. The resulting text aspires to say something profound about contemporary life but will settle, if necessary, for merely sounding like it almost does. The embargoed contents herein remain classified until further notice, or until someone asks nicely.